The big mini-rhythms of chair time and sleep
Before we jump right into the spiritual rhythms and disciplines of Sabbath, silence, solitude, lectio, and others, I wanted to start off with the mini-rhythms that have made a huge impact in my life. I have found that when it comes to the spiritual disciplines, it is better for moral support and longevity to have small victories rather than huge defeats. We need some quick wins to make us feel like we can implement these disciplines and not get frustrated or quit before we get a solid start. Not only that, but it seems like the majority of authors who speak about the disciplines tend to start with focusing on rest and sleep.
Psalm 127:1-2 says this, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones." The writer of this psalm says that unless we are partnering with God in our work, it's not going to go very well. We can work harder and harder, stay up late racing against deadlines, but if we're not pursuing God and his kingdom, it's all built on a foundation of sand. Then the psalmist gives this beautiful statement in Psalm 127:1-2. God gives the gift of rest to his loved ones. The English Standard Version translation says, "…he gives his beloved sleep."
This psalm is saying that those who are working together with God and for the things that are close to God's heart will receive the gift of restful, peaceful sleep. They won't stay up late with anxiety and toss and turn all night. Instead, they are mindful of God's will, do what they can do, and then go to sleep and sleep deeply. I don't know about you, but that has not always been the case for me. I'm an achiever and I always have tons of projects on my plate and time tables that I'm managing. I would work late and not sleep well because I was worried or I couldn't get my mind to shut off. I was busy building my houses and not spending enough time with the builder. I was burning my candle at both ends and not getting the gift of sleep. That was a picture of my life until I began to practice two very simple spiritual rhythms.
Chair time (silence, present, attentive)
The first is what I call chair time. This is a daily rhythm where I set aside some time to sit with the one who calls me beloved and the one who is the true builder of the house. The purpose of this time to be quiet, to cease my working, and to simply “be” and listen. It is where I try to shut out the noise that is in my environment, in my head, and in my heart. We live in a noisy world that is constantly trying to sell us something or get us to take action. We need a place that is free of that noise in order to be able to attend to the noise in our souls.
When it's finally quiet, we often realize how noisy our thoughts are. It seems like even if our bodies are sitting still, our minds are still racing and running from thought to thought. We may start to notice emotions like frustration or sadness start to surface. And we're wondering why we feel the way we do. Or we may just have a low rumble of unsettledness in our emotions and can't identify the cause. Now this may sound scary and awful, but it is actually normal and healthy. The only thing that is truly scary is if we ignore our internal life too long and it eventually wrecks our everyday lives.
What we need is time for the thoughts and emotions to settle and quiet. Ruth Haley Barton talks about how our lives are like taking a glass jar and putting it in a running stream to fill it with river water. When you first look at it, it will be swirling with dirt and particles and leaves, and will look cloudy. However, if you let the water sit for a few hours, things will get clearer. The particles will begin to sink to the bottom of the jar and you can see more clearly. You can identify the objects that have been swirling in the water once they are rested on the bottom of the jar. Chair time is a way of easing into the practice of silence and solitude so that we get used to dealing with the swirl, and let it begin to settle so that God can speak to us about it. We need him to tell us which areas we are not letting him be in control over. We need him to tell us when we are trying to build the wrong house. We need to hear him soothe our hearts by calling us beloved or by telling us he's proud of us.
So how do we practice chair time? It will look different for each person, but here are some tips from my personal experience that may work for you.
Comfortable space
First, you need a comfortable place. For me, this is my home office sitting in what I call my "comfy chair." It is the chair I sit in to read, study, and do bedtime stories with my son. It is where I sit and debrief about the day with my wife after our boy is in bed. It has become my sacred space. I have found that as I come to this chair to meet with Jesus over and over again, it has become one of my favorite places. It brings back memories and helps me look forward to new ones with God.
Quiet and distraction-free
Secondly, your space needs to be quiet and as free of distraction as possible. For me, this means going in to my area and closing the door. By this point in the day, my son is usually in bed and my wife knows I'm headed to spend time with Jesus, so she doesn't come in. It also means turning off my laptop, my external displays, and my cell phone so that I'm not distracted by thinking about e-mail dinging, checking social media, or even checking the time. Additionally, I may have books on my desk, or things laying around my office that make me think about needing to clean my office. So I recommend turning off the light. This helps me not get so easily distracted by or becoming anxious because of the clutter. I also usually have a candle and a lighter with me that I light as a reminder that God's Holy Spirit is present with me in that moment. Note that for some people, the only time they can be alone is in the car on the way to work. Then make that your space and turn off your radio.
A regular time of day and amount of time
Now the point is not to be legalistic and feel bad if you miss your chair time, but I have found that having a regular time carved out of my schedule means that chair time will be more likely to happen. What that time looks like for you may be different for you. It might be in the morning before the kids get up. For me, it's around 10:00 at night. By then my son is in bed, my wife is working on one of her side hustles, and I'm free to simply sit. This also goes along with what I will talk about later when it comes to sleep. Here is another recommendation. When you first begin, make it a goal to start trying to set aside 5 minutes. For many people, this is the first time they've tried this and it will be difficult. 5 minutes will feel like an eternity. Don't feel like a failure if it's hard for you. There's a reason almost no one does it, because sitting quietly is hard. So we fill our every waking moment with noise and activity. Over time it will get easier. I have found that there have been times where I end up sitting for an hour and don't even realize it. But I've been doing this for a couple years now, so don't compare yourself to that standard. Sometimes I still struggle with 5 minutes of quiet time.
Don’t chase the monkeys, observe them
So you've finally found your space, you've shut out the outside distractions, and it's quiet. Now what? You find your thoughts racing from thing to thing and you're frustrated because you don't know what to do with your thoughts. I heard someone refer to the way our thoughts work in this time as “monkeys”. These would be like “thought monkeys” jumping from tree to tree, subject to subject. Instead of feeling like you're unspiritual for not being able to quiet your mind, I encourage you to simply observe the monkeys with Jesus.
Here's what I mean by this. If God is all-knowing, he knows what's going on everywhere at once, including what's happening in your head. If the Holy Spirit lives within us, then the Holy Spirit knows what's going on inside us. Instead of beating yourself up or trying to focus on one thing, simply observe the thoughts you are having. “Oh, I'm thinking about work. I'm thinking about my family. I'm thinking about (fill in the blank).” What I have found is that the monkeys tend to land in a single tree after a while. There is a situation or thought that I seem to land on and dwell on that my mind keeps coming back to. I simply mentally ask, “Jesus, why do I keep coming back to this? What do you want to tell me about this? What are you doing in and through this situation?” It's about inviting Jesus into your thoughts through these simple words of prayer. It's inviting Jesus to reveal to you what he is doing in your life that you are usually to busy to notice.
Showing up is success
Don't be worried if at first you start doing this rhythm and you don't hear from God immediately. It doesn't mean you've done it wrong or that God doesn't want to speak to you. We often have a problem of doing something and expecting God to respond how and when we want him to. God is unpredictable and will not be tamed or expected to perform magic tricks. However, he does love us and promises that if we seek him we will find him. So keep at it. Sometimes developing a relationship is simply about showing up, making yourself available, and being present. It's about being vulnerable and open to however the other person decides to enter into that moment with us. There will be times you will have a strong internal impression of something God wants you to do, or a word or phrase may seem to come to mind that you feel is not part of your normal thought process. There may be times when you have a profound experience of knowing God is with you. You may also have nothing but a quiet room and a head full of thoughts. That's okay. Sometimes, God will speak to us later in the day, the next week, or even a month later about what we were thinking about. The important thing is to know that God loves spending time with you even if you don't at first "get anything" out of it. Keep at it! Showing up is success.
Sleep: How our bodies are part of our spiritual lives
James Bryan Smith (seems like the spiritual formation people love putting their middle names in things) says, "The number one enemy of Christian spiritual formation today is exhaustion. We are living beyond our means, both financially and physically. We need on average 8 hours a day of sleep in order to maintain health. This tells me that God has designed humanity to spend nearly one-third of our lives sleeping."
As technology has advanced, we are now able to spend more time awake and working because of light bulbs and electricity. We are able to work more because of laptops and e-mail and text messages. When we are not working, we are kept awake by little screens that we get psychologically connected to by videos and feeds. This leads to exhaustion, lack of mental focus, and emotional resources being strained.
Smith goes on to say, "The human person is not merely a soul housed in a body. Our bodies and souls are unified. If our bodies suffer, so do our souls. We cannot neglect the body in pursuit of spiritual growth." Sleep is one way that we honor what God has given us. Sleep helps us put ourselves in a place where we can better experience the presence of God. Often we are too tired to read our Bibles, to pray, to serve, or even to love people well. So here I am, telling you that your homework is to sleep! What a great God who tells us that if we want to live well, we should enjoy a comfy bed and do nothing for a third of our lives!
How to practice sleeping
I'm going to give James Bryan Smith’s recommendations for how to practice this discipline and some of my insights on how I've implemented them in my own life. He says to try to “sleep in” one day as long as you need to- until you can't sleep anymore. However, he knows we stink at this so he gives us an alternative. Try to go to sleep and get at least seven hours a night three times each week. Then he goes on and gives these tips.
Go to sleep at a consistent time each night.
Try not to engage in activities that increase stress, such as, perhaps, watching television or spending time on the computer right before bedtime. Note that this means vegging out on Netflix or social media. I actually had to start leaving my phone in my office and stop taking it into my bedroom. This also meant that I had to buy a real alarm clock since I couldn't use my phone alarm anymore.
If you are affected by stimulants like caffeine and spicy foods, avoid them in the evening. Even though alcohol is a depressant, it actually decreases the quality of sleep you can get. Nightcaps should be avoided.
Do not force yourself to fall asleep. If you do not feel drowsy, read a book, meditate on a psalm, listen to soft music, or sit up and gaze out your window until you feel drowsy, and then go back to bed. Until your body is ready for sleep, tossing and turning in bed will not help you.
If you awaken in the middle of the night, but do not have to get up, stay in bed. Give your body a chance to fall back to sleep.
He goes on to note that for some people, these ideas may still not work. Those who cannot go to sleep well may need to go to a sleep specialist and see if there is a medical explanation. It may also have to do with underlying emotional factors that may require a counselor.
As we wrap up these two huge mini-rhythms, let me give you two last thoughts. The first is that if you are skeptical of how important the idea of sleep is, let me remind you what we see in the story of Elijah. In 1 Kings 19 Elijah he is absolutely exhausted and spent. He is at the place where he simply wants to give up and die. He falls asleep. When he wakes up, an angel gives him something to eat and Elijah goes back to sleep. Before he was ready for his big spiritual encounter with God on the mountain, he needed to be replenished physically.
Secondly, I have started with these two rhythms because they have been foundational for my spiritual life. Learning to rest my mind and spend time with Jesus in quiet, and learning to go to bed at a good time, have helped me weather some incredibly difficult seasons of ministry. I could not have handled these seasons without the spiritual rhythms being established. So I encourage you to start small with chair time and sleep, and see what God will do. You might just find that he will give his beloved restful sleep!